Next Stop, Gaspard Ulliel!

So... Mary (my roommate) and I, are awesome. And while looking at those really awesome Barnes & Noble bags, the ones with all the quotes from the beginnings of books (I looked for a picture of it online but I can't find any), we just thought it was such a great idea. Then we thought of another great idea. We should make our own! With all the books we brought to school, plus other awesome books we like! So we decided we'd make a poster, once we got all the first lines we wanted.
So we looked through our books, then we looked on the internet for the books we didn't bring. Then I started looking for some good translations of The Aeneid, which we did some translating of in high school, and all the translations I found online were just awful. So I thought to myself, "If only I brought my senior year Latin notebook to school with me this year..." And then I thought, "Did I?"
So I looked where I thought it might be, and I found last year's (freshmen year's) Latin spiral, and started flipping through it, when I foouunnddd:
Pro Archia Poeta! I really enjoyed that last year. So I looked through those pages, and I found the first book... and I was not in class the day we worked on that (go to class, kids). So I figured, how hard can it be to translate one sentence of this.
Well, let me tell you. It can be hard. Damn hard. I've finished like, the first line (very roughly) and you know... only like.. 50 more words to go. But now that I've started, I can't possibly stop. And even now that I've found a decent translation online and I realize, this isn't really the part I like so much and I should probably go to one of the books I know better, I just want to keep translating.

Which makes me wonder.
Why the hell did I stop taking Latin?
So I asked Alisha, and she reminded me that I'm taking French now. I wanted to learn a language I could speak... so that I can meet Gaspard Ulliel, and say to him:

Bonjour Monsieur, je m'appelle, Kelly. Comment vous applez-vous?
(and he would hopefully reply)
Je m'appelle Gaspard, merci.
(then I could say)
Comment allez-vous?
and he could say any of the following:
Je suis bien! or
Tres bien! or
Super! (with an awesome french accent)
je ne suis pas bien ( :( )
je suis malade ( :( )

Anything else he might say would just confuse me. Then I would have to say, "Sorry I'm only American, but I can translate some awesome Latin poetry for you, if you give me a month. Do you want to marry me yet?"

And if I had my french notebook I could say a few other things, like: my hair is blonde, I am short, that is a table; but that could come off as insulting to his vision and intelligence, I suppose.

So the moral of this story is: I am a nerd.

And on a completely different note:
I won't give it to you because you're an ASSHOLE!
dick.